


Third Wheel

by PastelJustice



Series: Queer Tokyo Ghoul drabble collection [8]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Dorks in Love, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, idk what to tag this, poly is hard when you don't know anyone is poly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-17
Updated: 2014-09-17
Packaged: 2018-02-17 19:09:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2320262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastelJustice/pseuds/PastelJustice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Hide confessing his feelings for the already dating uta and ken<br/>Requested by anon on my tumblr (pasteljustice.tumblr.com).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Third Wheel

The simple version was that Hide was just too late.  
He’d been in love with his best friend since they were fourteen. But he couldn’t have told Kaneki then. He’d barely managed to scrape out ‘the doctor’s designated me a girl’. The long conversation about how his parent’s helped with hormones and presenting early. No one else outside the family knew he was a trans man before Ken did, and even after he didn’t tell anyone. Kaneki was the only one who needed to know. The only one who he wanted to tell.  
Then it was school. Then more different school.  
Then Kaneki was nearly killed.  
And then he, separates. He doesn’t text, avoids him at all costs. And while the bookworm has always been introverted he always saved some social energy to deal with Hide. He can’t admit his feeling then, not when it’s a struggle to even talk to Ken. Not when the boy’s so clearly distressed on his own. So Hide tries to stay a friend. He offers support, doesn’t drown Kaneki in too much affection. He tries to be the support Kaneki has always been for him, although there’s no bullies and bigots to fight against for him. He researches eating disorders, depression. It’s the least he can do. He sifts through mental notes on his best friend’s behavior, matching symptoms. Somehow he keep’s drifting to Ghoul’s. He’s not sure when that option tops the list. He find’s he’s okay with the idea. Kaneki would never hurt him.  
Its three weeks after noticing a clear change in Kaneki that he gets introduced to Uta, and realizes the strange look’s Kaneki had been giving where what he looked like love-struck. The blushing, the constant texting, the grinning at his phone for no apparent reason.  
While Hide was stalling Kaneki fell in love. And he’s jealous. He’s so jealous of the mystery person, the face on the other side of a screen whose name he isn’t even allowed to read. He doesn’t want anyone else to be the one effecting Kaneki that way. He wants to be the one who make’s the bookworm come out of his shell, smile at written jokes, and blush from lewd or inappropriate comments. He wants to be on the other end of that dreamy look. He is fully aware how even without knowing them, his jealousy is poison. He could never like the person who grabbed the attention he so yearned for.  
At first he hates them. He hate’s this Uta with the poison he’s been collecting. Hate’s the tattoos, the piercings, the strange sunglasses, the very way they move. Why does Kaneki see anything in this punk in loose cloths and with, is that leather polis under their nails? Uta was dangerous looking, drew attention where ever they went. Why would Kaneki want someone that attracted bad influences?  
And why did Kaneki insist they hang out.  
On one hand it was understandable. Kaneki wanted his best friend and his datemate to like each other, enjoy each other’s company. In some cases it allowed Kaneki to spend time with the both of them. And slowly, through these interactions Hide began to see what Kaneki saw.  
Uta was, despite appearances, very kind and gentle. Considerate for even the smallest things. Soon they actually became friends, contacting eachother without Kaneki. Movies, texting back and forth. Kaneki looked brilliantly happy. The two most important people to him were not only getting along, but were bonding and genuinely having fun. It took two weeks for Hide to fall in love with Uta. It took four for him to realize it.

He was so screwed up.

It was bad enough he was in love with his best friend, closest pal, and support system and that admitting his feeling might ruin that. It was bad enough said best friend, closest pal, and support system was in love with someone else and clearly not interested in anything other than friendship. It’s bad enough that even with a new relationship Kaneki is hiding something from him, possibly something about his very nature and he can’t tell what part hurts more. The fact that he may be friends with someone who doesn’t trust him, or the fact that he can trust Kaneki with his very identity and not have the favor returned. Even so, how he’s fallen again is so much worse.

He still loves Kaneki. He knows he does. Nothing has changed in that regards. But it’s like another figure has squirmed its way into his dreams, Uta’s long fingers grasping that thought’s he had that were Kaneki-free and filling them with dark tattoos and pale skin and eyes he still hasn’t seen. If someone asked him to choose between the two he wouldn’t be able to in the same way he can’t tell someone if he loves hamburger or sushi more. The loves are separate, strong in entirely different ways. What he love’s in Kaneki is unremarkable in Uta. What pulls him to Uta isn’t present in Kaneki. And he can’t get either of them.

They are in love, obviously. Kaneki hangs off Uta, pleading with puppy eye’s that break through a nonchalant air and expose the act. Uta is a solid force behind Kaneki, a steady hand at his back when reassurance is needed and the icebreaker that allows Kaneki to squeeze through. Kaneki pushes, Uta pulls. Watching them together in public is like a dance, each taking care to consider where the other must step and making room. 

There’s no room in Ballroom for a third wheel.

Kaneki doesn’t need him anymore. He doesn’t need a loud blonde to clear space in a room. Uta would never need someone like Hide, would never enjoy the company of someone so glaring with emotion. They didn’t need him. They wouldn’t even want him. Why would they? He would trip them up, intrude, break moods, and quiet conversations. They could be glass figures, and he wasn’t delicate. He was clumsy, and harsh. He had no space around fragile limbs or hearts. They were best off alone, together in center stage without him to steal spotlight tripping over his feet.

He stopped going to movies with Uta. Texting with both of them trailed off awkwardly, and he no longer put energy into breaking periods on non-communication.

They were better off without him. 

Eventually he was invited to a small party, Uta’s birthday. Kaneki begged him to come. He didn’t have the heart to cut them off completely, and brought some fancy kind of coffee that he thought Uta would like (organic, hopefully artsy and trendy enough for the artist). No food, there was still a chance that the pair were ghouls or on some extreme diet and either way it would be rude.

“We have to talk.” Is the ambush he receives exactly four and one third step from the door.   
“Yeah, is this really where you two are staying, kind of a shady neighborhood ya know.” He brushes off, avoiding a steady look from Uta. Placing the coffee on a small table is a decent excuse to avoid looking up (Uta never seemed this tall and intimidating before, at least not like this). Decent amount of ghoul activity here, he notes. And a back place like this was somewhere to hide easily. He should probably be a bit frightened, being in a small area like this with a likely ghoul. Somehow he can’t imagine Uta hurting him.

“We need to talk about the relationship Kaneki and I have, and how you fit into it.” Uta continues. “There isn’t a party though, Kaneki said we’d have to trap you. Like a rabbit. You brought coffee? That’s very thoughtful.” 

If Hide had to guess, he would say he’s paler than Uta now by about ten shades. All the blood has left his cheeks, the hand’s stuffed in his hoodie. “Look I don’t want to, ruin anything between you two.” He starts. “You’re-you’re good for him. He needs you a lot more than me now. I’m backing off, you won’t have to see me around much longer.” He tries to assure, but ends up sounding utterly despaired. He has never been good at hiding his emotions. 

Uta manages to look surprised an amused despite the glasses. “That, is very kind. But not really what we are going for.” They shrug. “There is a lot to discuss, but you’re safe in this house no matter what happens. Kaneki doesn’t want you to leave, he’d gut me if I tried to chase you off. Not that I would, a face like that doesn’t deserve it.”

Uta paused, expecting a response. Hide was in too much shock to give one. And while Uta was patient, they doubted the very nervous Kaneki in the next room would be. “Would you be willing to talk to us both? No need for you to agree to anything right now. We can talk and let you think about our offer.”  
Hide nods numbly, catching a grin from Uta. “Good, come along then.” The hand on his back is just as comforting as he imagined, relaxing him a bit.

“He’s willing to talk.” They call out, leading Hide into a room with a large older looking couch. Kaneki is in the middle, sunken in. Hide can realize why Kaneki might like it. The imagination didn’t have to stretch far to see it as a nest to hide from the world in.   
“Umm, hi. I’m sorry we tricked you. I really am!” Kaneki insists, struggling to sit up in the couch a bit. “But you were hiding from us and neither of us are you and we don’t have a lot of experience dragging self-sacrificing friends out of caves. It seemed like the easiest way.” He then moves to the side, Uta pushing Hide down to fall into the middle. Right between them and Kaneki. Normally, the source of very many good dreams. Now a bit of a nightmare.   
“We’re both ghouls.” Uta says simply. “Though I assure us we will never willingly put you in danger or harm you. But we won’t hide it, or lie to you about our habits for your comfort.” They add.  
Kaneki looks like he wants to cry a bit he’s so nervous. He’s curled up on himself again and Hide can’t tell if it’s to give him space or a type of flinch. But years of friendship tells him that the ghoul is expecting the worst possible reaction. Likely a scenario where Hide ran screaming and informed the CCG.  
He laughs. Oh god this is actually happening. “I knew.” He spits out between chuckles. “I figured it out weeks ago. Kane you’re terrible at keeping secrets. I already knew.”  
“And you aren’t, worried we’ll hurt you?”  
Hide shrugged. “You’re my best friend dude, you’d never let me get hurt.” And he doubted Uta would either, even if just to appease Kaneki.  
“Do you care for us, romantically or sexually?” Uta interrupts again. “Because I am attracted to you in both ways, and Kaneki is certainly romantically attracted to you.”  
Hide can’t tell who’s blushing more, him or Kaneki. Kaneki has slapped both hands over his face. Hide feel’s his back go iron stiff.   
“You don’t have to say yes. If you don’t, feel that way about us we can stay friends and nothing has to change.” Kaneki rushes as if to smooth over his partners bluntness. “B-but if you do, we would like you to join us? Be our partner I mean. Boyfriend, to both of us.” A hand reached behind Hide to rest on Kaneki’s shoulder, reminding him he was rambling.  
“I didn’t think you two would want me around, third wheel and all. But-“ Hide started.  
“You don’t have to decide now.” Kaneki interrupted. “We’re not trying to pressure you. Sorry.”  
Hide gave the smaller a light push. “Let me finish loser. Yeah. I was going to say I’d like that. I like both of you, that way.” He blushed again.   
Kaneki grinned, tipping over to hug Hide’s middle and hold back a light squeal. Uta smiled, instead grabbing Hide’s face and pulling him into a kiss.  
He could get used to this. Even if they didn’t need him, they wanted him enough.


End file.
